This is for me

I do not get to speak with you see you touch you feel you. It is making me crazy. Especially at night. I find it hard to fall asleep. In the morning I work out or get busy cleaning, working etc. at night I'm too tired to do anything and I can't stop thinking about you. I am thinking about you at that time. so I need to vent out and just speak knowing that this is for you and you will read this. Even during the day I think about you and I need to just be close to you mentally at the least. At that time I write this. I am not writing this for you this is for me. I can feel you remember you and feel that you are listening. Please undertand this is for me. Read it or don't read it but just pretend that you are reading it. Don't tell me that you are not reading I will be ok. I remember you and its painful especially at night. I can't sleep and feel suffocated.

I know people have promised things to you and cheated you. What can I do to assure you. I will will my house to you and once this personal guarantee is over I will transfer it in our joint names. Immediately after personal guarantee is over. For my daughter I have term insurance. As soon as we get married I will take a term insurance in your name. I do not know how to assure you with words. I wil find out a way. I want to marry you you don't once we are married i will have to give you maintenance and alimony.

I love you deeply. I cherish you. I need you and will do everything for you in return I need undying loyalty and uncompromising love.